The Story Never Lies
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: Tohru discovers something that leaves the Sohma family in ruins. With Yuki's pink hair and Kyo's drool puddles, the family is left with one option. Request help from a complete nutter or suffer a lifetime of stunt doubling at parties... in the futuuuuure!
1. Discovering the Story

**A/N:**

**"The Story Never Lies" is something I came up with on the spot. It was a complete accident after listening to too much MCR and thinking too hard about FanFic.**

**(groan)**

**So, here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the idea… I think…**

**NOTE: Meant to be humor, but is a bit dramatic… slightly Kyoru.**

"Shigure?"

The Dog looked up from his newspaper at the brown-haired girl. She was kneeling down beside him, eyes open as wide as humanly possible. He stared at her in fascination.

"Yes, my flower," He folded the newspaper up and smacked it onto the table. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well…" Tohru considered how to approach this very special situation; she didn't want to offend Shigure by asking her question in any way. _'Oh, mom! This is so hard…' _

"Well… I n-need to use your com-computer for some homework… please!"

Shigure nodded and pointed to his study room absentmindedly. Tohru followed his fingers direction and peeped up the stairs.

"You know where it is." He said with yet another nod. "Run along now."

Tohru nodded and gratefully thanked him, before scampering up the seemingly endless stairs and into the messy and proactively perverted room Shigure called his study. Tohru pulled out the computer chair and flopped herself into it, taking a few moments to admire today's technology.

"Now." She said out loud. "To make this magic machine work!"

She reached up a pressed a small, blue button. The computer began making clicking sounds and the screen flashed multiple times. Tohru jumped with fright, but them calmed herself by remembering that's what computers do.

A pornographic background popped up on the screen along with numerous icons and buttons. She shrieked and clicked a random one, called "Internet Explorer".

_'At least that picture of two naked girls is gone…' _Tohru breathed as she noticed a task bar called 'Favourites' to her left. She looked along it and noticed a brightly coloured one reading, "FanFicion." Curious, Tohru clicked it.

_'Hmm. What's all this, then?' _She asked herself in a posh, English sounding voice. '_Ooh, anime. I like anime!' _

She clicked the blue words reading anime and another screen popped up with a 'click!'. Hundreds of anime named popped up before her. She gaped.

_'I'll just scroll to the bottom of the screen and see what I can find.' _Tohru eyed the words for the most interesting sounding one. '_Oh, I hope this isn't one of Shigure's porn sites… oh, 'Fruits Basket'. I remember playing that game as a child!'_

Tohru's face lit up as she clicked the screen and more click-able words came up.

_'Wow… so many things to click… hey. Wait a second.' _Tohru's mind mentally halted with fear. '_What are Yuki, Kyo and my name's doing up here?!'_

Her heart thumped madly as she scrolled through the listings of stories and poems. Who were these people? Were they watching her? Did they know her? If so, how come she didn't know them?

Tohru's eyes closed as she clicked a random entry, entitled, "The Story Never Lies".

_'Maybe this one will tell me what's going on.'_

As her eyes browsed the words, her heart sunk deeper and deeper into her chest. He mouth became dry and she came to the bottom of the page and read the very last sentence, in italics.

_"…This story knows what I'm thinking!" _

**A/N:**

**Oooh, creepy!**

**I dunno how many people have done this. But whatever.**

**It's just a prologue sorta thing, so yeah.**


	2. Tohru and Shigure Write a Review!

**A/N:**

**THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ FOR THE SAKE OF YOURS AND EVERYONE ELSE'S SANITY. **

**Now that I have your attention, the people I chose for the 'who are the characters' thing are SHIGURE and TOHRU. **

**Please not this story is NOT ShigurexTohru, they're just the main characters of this fic. **

**ALSO, ALSO, ALSO. DON'T STOP READING THIS JUST YET! **

**Since this story features FanFic itself, I will be including (maybe) some authors of stories into it, including their stories and various characters of Fruits Basket reading them. **

**If you would like a fic you wrote to be in this story, please contact me through a review or PM. Thanks!**

_'What should I do?' _Tohru asked herself as she stared blankly at the screen. _'This is s-s-scary!'_

She swiveled the chair backwards and ran down the stairs, almost bumping into Yuki on the way. She blurted a quick, 'sorry!' and swung through the kitchen door with a bang. Shigure was surprised an injury inflicted on his dear house wasn't made by Kyo or Yuki, but nevertheless, helped the brunette to her feet.

"Is something the matter?" The Dog asked, as she settled on her feet and rubbed her head, groaning slightly. "Did my background traumatize you?"

"N-No... The st-story..." She struggled to speak, "There was a story..."

"Oh, you went on FanFiction?" Shigure questioned, knowing all too well the porn behind that website's cleanly exterior.

"Y-Yes..." Her cheeks inflamed at the reminder she was meant to be doing her homework. "I m-mean! I was going to do my homework, but... but I was just looking!"

"It's alright Tohru," He smiled, petting her shoulder gently. But as Hatori says, any gestures like that to cute, high school girls is generally wreaking of something illegal. "What did you see?"

"A story," she gasped. "A story that has all of us in it! Yuki, Kyo, me and you!"

Shigure thought for a moment; through all the Naruto and Inuyasha porn he had been reading, how could he have not noticed such a story?

"Worst of all," the brunette continued, "It knows what we're doing..."

.xxx.

"So, where'd you find this story?" Shigure was now leaning over Tohru's shoulder, inspecting a section of his favourite porno site called 'Fruits Basket'. As Tohru scrolled down the pages, he found himself noticing that the girl was not crazy and there actually _were _stories about them here. He inspected the summaries as she skimmed.

_'This sure is weird... hmm... what's all this, then? People here seem to be obsessed with Yuki and Kyo having sexy man-lovin'! I wonder what they'll do when they see this...' _the Dog rubbed his chin, deep in thought as Tohru clicked an unusual title.

"The Story Never Lies," he read aloud. "Sounds good."

"Oh no!" Tohru began to flail and pointed to a small box. "There's a second chapter now!"

As they began to read the second chapter, seeing as Tohru had already read the first and summarized it to her canine companion, they both began to feel worried.

"Whose been watching us?" the brunette breathed, her eyes becoming teary. "Just look! I'm saying this right now… but it's already typed up on the screen…"

"I noticed," Shigure muttered, deep in thought. "And in answer to your question, I have no idea. There seems to be a group of them… a group of people."

"What should we do? Do you think all the stories written here are about things that have happened to us?" Tohru stood and allowed Shigure to sit down in front of his computer as he scrolled through the words, looking for answers.

"Should we tell the others?" Tohru continued, beginning to shake as she blurted out questions. "I mean, they need to know, right? Yuki, Kyo… all those stories written about them… even Uo and Hana have stories! I'm really scared…"

It wasn't a surprise. I mean, wouldn't _you_ be scared if you went on a computer for the first time, opened up your first website and discovered a bunch of peoples had been watching you for years on end, writing about your life? Yeah, I thought so.

"Shigure," Tohru pointed at sentence at the top of the page. "Has Kagura been writing this?"

Of course, it was a good assumption, ne? The authors username was 'Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma' and to Tohru, the only person she could ever recall uttering those words was everyone's favourite boar-cursed girl.

"I… I don't think so." Shigure had other thoughts. "But we can always ask."

"How do we do that?" The girl began to freak out, scared of contacting a stranger who was writing fiction about them.

"I've got experience doing these things, my flower," the Dog grinned, "You just leave a review. It's where you tell a person if you like their story or not." He paused. "I've done it a few times before. Now…"

Scrolling to the bottom of the page, Shigure clicked a box. Tohru watched in amazement; this sure was cooler (and a hundred times scarier!) than doing her homework!

"What should we say?" Tohru leant over Shigure shoulder, careful not to collapse and transform him into a dog. "Oh, we should try not to be obvious…"

"Don't worry," his fingers moved quickly over the keyboard. "I know what to say."

After lots of backspacing, flailing and sighing, the end product turned out like this,

_Hi.  
I really like your story.  
But, I was wondering, who are you?  
And how do you know the Sohma's and about their family curse?  
- Beloved reader. _

"There we go," Shigure smiled, proud of his handy work. "It's simple and an easy question. No one will ever think it was us!"

"Oh! I hope not!" Tohru clapped her hands together, eyes shining with joy. "I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow to see what the next chapter says."

**A/N: **

**Ooookay… I totally haven't updated this one since to prologue. **

**But yeah. **

**Things are going to get interesting… I hope. **

**XDDDD**


	3. The Trauma of Fan Fiction

**A/N: **

**I was surprised when I checked the reviews for this story just then and noticed someone had ACTUALLY reviewed saying what was mentioned in the story before. I almost laughed. (that's right, it wasn't me!). Who ever did that, you're a legend. **

**Anyway, the stories mentioned in this chapter ARE NOT mine, but since I haven't worked out what stories I'm gonna use yet, they'll be mentioned at the bottom of the page, so I don't forget. **

**Enjoy! **

"Are you going to tell the others?" It was a question Shigure had thought about when Tohru had brought it up; it'd probably be a good idea. They deserve to know, right? But then again, it was also a bad idea. Knowing Kyo and Yuki, seeing all those yaoi stories with them, they'd have a fit!

"I'm not sure. There's good and bad aspects of telling them." Tohru was thoughtful, her brow furrowed.

"Oh! I know! Let's flip a coin," on another topic, it was getting rather late. Shouldn't Tohru have cooked dinner by now? "If we do that, we can let fate decide!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Shigure grinned, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a coin. "Want me to flip?"

"Why don't you flip and I'll ask the question?" Tohru suggested, as Shigure prepared to flip the coin. As his thumb flicked it up, Tohru shouted-

"HEADS WE TELL THEM!"

-at the top of her lungs. The coin fell to the ground and the two leant over to inspect what fate had decided for them.

"It's heads." Shigure observed. "Would you like to break the news?"

Tohru nodded and walked down the stairs with Shigure on her tail, the both looking rather frazzled.

.xxx.

"Damn, I'm starving…" Kyo muttered, glaring at his hand. He was currently clawing the table. Yuki was sitting opposite him.

"If you're that starved, make dinner yourself. Give Miss Honda a break for once," The Rat Prince replied rather solemnly. He was hungry also.

"Why don't you!" Kyo snapped back, only to hear footsteps. "Oh, here she is."

The cousins stared in disbelief as Shigure, the perverted Dog of the family and Tohru, the innocent flower both walked down the stairs, their hair messy, clothes stray and hanging and faces flushed.

I mean, if you saw this scene, what would YOUR first thoughts be?

"What… the…" The Cat blinked in disbelief. "Holy crap!"

"Shigure!" Yuki stood, pointing. "You scarred Miss Honda!" Tohru and Shigure glanced at each other before it hit them.

"Oh! No! It isn't like that!" Tohru began to panic and flail her arms. "You see, I was doing something on the computer and then I discovered all these stories that have us in them, but I was meant to be doing homework and I apologize that I wasn't, it's just this website called FanFiction caught my eye and when I clicked it there was something called 'Fruits Basket' and it seemed interesting because I can remember playing that game as a kid, but back to what happened, so I called Shigure and we started to freak out about how these people have been watching us and writing about us and they know about the curse and how Akito is a female and how Kyo has a true form and how, and how Kureno's curse is broken!"

Tohru then fainted.

In the meantime, while the saviour of the Sohma's was asleep, Kyo and Yuki were questioning the Dog everyone wishes was the same dog that is asleep at the end of their bed right now.

"So, you didn't… you know!" Yuki blushed, ashamed to mention what was on both he and Kyo's minds at the time. "We heard her shouting!"

"Yeah! You better not have touched her!" Kyo added unhelpfully, shaking his fist.

"Boys, boys," Shigure shook his head. "Do you really have that little faith in me?"

"YES!"

.xxx.

"Whoa, you really _aren't_ crazy…" Kyon-Kyon stared at the screen in awe as thousands of stories appeared; most containing himself, Yuki and Tohru.

"And you really weren't lying…" Yun-Yun added, glancing through the titles. "Hey! Stop! That one has my name in it!"

Indeed, it did. The title read, '_Yuki's Incredible Feelings of ANGST!'. _Everyone leaning in over Tohru shoulder closer, huddling together like penguins in the snow. But of course, not that close, because that would induce transformation.

"What the hell?" Kyo chuckled lightly, covering his mouth. "For someone who doesn't know us at all, she sure knows a lot about Yuki,"

"Hm… "Yuki-kun, excuse me, but you have some shame on you." Tohru informed him.' … that's rather odd." Yuki quoted, his eyes brimming with ANGST tears! (not)

"Look Kyo, in this story, you aren't being confined and Yuki is! Isn't that wonderful?" Tohru beamed. No one really said anything, because there isn't really an answer to that question.

"… 'Unsympathetically NOT yours'… that doesn't sound like Hatori at all!" Shigure began to wail. "What MONSTER wrote this? Whom! WHOM!" And with that, he gave Kyo a glance.

"Enough of this stupid story!" Kyo snapped, now not enjoying Yuki's 'angst' as much as he was previously. "Let's look at something else."

Tohru hit back and scrolled through more fan fictions, accidentally flying into 'M' rated territory. Suddenly, every title read 'yaoi' or 'lemon'. The others weren't to sure about this.

"Oh! Here's a normal sounding one!" Tohru smiled. "It's called _'Leek Soup'._ Shall we look?"

"Can someone remind me what we're doing here? Shouldn't we be trying to find out who the hell these people are!?" Temper Kyo, temper. Can't you see Tohru is trying to unravel things?

Anyway, so Tohru clicked it. The four read through chapter one, their mouths gaping. Tohru was horrified, as was Yuki. Kyo looked as if he was about to throw up over Yuki. Shigure thought he was going to die. Of laughter.

"W-What!?" The Cat pointed at the screen, "THAT NEVER HAPPENED!"

"Of course it didn't!" The Rat added defensively. "Why would a thing like this happen!?"

"Kagura…" Tohru muttered, slightly traumatized. Shigure was still dying. Of laughter.

"That's it! We are OUT OF HERE!" Kyo hit back twice before anyone else could be slaughtered mentally by this outrage to the Sohma's! Poor Kyon and Yun.

.xxx.

Tohru was still determined to get to the bottom of these stories. She continued to browse, the boys behind her, shuddering at various titles and laughing at others. Shigure wondered if some things in this world just weren't meant to be found out.

"Oh, wow!" Tohru shined, hovering the mouse above a pen name. "It's Akito! Akito is here!"

_'This saves letting her know, I suppose,'_ Shigure sighed mentally. _'I can't imagine what she'd do if she found out…' _

Tohru, once again, was not going crazy. There really was an author who could be Akito!

"Akito at the disco," Yuki read out loud, "I didn't know Akito liked discos."

"Ah yes," Shigure smirked, remembering all the 'good times' he'd spent with everyone's favourite Sohma God. "She's quite the party animal!"

"WE DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW." Kyo snapped, once again. He sure likes snapping, doesn't he? Snapping words, snapping twigs, snapping noses…

"At least this story seems fairly normal," Tohru commented, clicking the title.

"Thanks for the add," Yuki read out loud again, because he's the special read-out-louder for the day. "It does seem normal. But if it's traumatizing, we won't read it, alright?"

They read the first few paragraphs together, in silence, eyes scanning the words. Kyo scoffed something like, 'damn, another story about me?' or 'what the hell's a myspace?', but no one was really listening because they were too wrapped in this weird language people in this story were using.

"Geez, I thought English was hard enough to learn… and then I discovered this," Kyo mused, trying to figure out what 'nuttin' and 'lol' could possibly mean. Tsk, Kyo! You're a teenager! You're meant to know these things!

"Wow… I wonder what a myspace is…" Tohru asked Kyo's mutterings, since no one heard him when he said it.

"Whipped cream?" Yuki began to question the sanity of Akito.

"I question the sanity of Akito," Yuki questioned.

"I don't think this is Akito…" Shigure spoke, rubbing his chin. "I mean, does this honestly sound like Akito to you?"

Something in the corner of the computer screen popped up suddenly and nearly gave Tohru a heart attack.

"W-W-W-W-W-What??" She stuttered, flailing and almost slapping Yuki's eye out.

"I got an email from FanFiction," Shigure said slowly, making sure everyone understood. "I think the author of that story you found before has replied."

**A/N: **

**Stories quoted: **

**"Yuki's Incredible Feelings of ANGST" by Just Abigail. **

**"Thanks For The Add!" by AKITO. At The Disco. **

**"Leek Soup" by Fire.Rose.Black.**


	4. What Do You Mean, We Don't Exist?

**A/N: **

**I know you're all going to hate me for this… **

**But… **

**Just kidding. (dies laughing) **

"Oh, geez," Kyo muttered under his breath, disgraced by his older cousin. "You actually _spoke_ to one of these freaks?!"

"Not exactly," Shigure double clicked the box that popped up and waited for the window to load. It sure was taking a long time… "We didn't officially speak. This is the first time we've heard from them."

"Is it a girl, or a boy?" Yuki squinted as the start of the email began to load. "With a name like that, it sure sounds like Kagura."

"It's not Kagura," Shigure assured the Rat. "Tohru and I already talked about it and we concluded it was either a female stalker from your school or a gay stalker from the bushes outside our house."

"W-What!?" Kyo jumped up, ears pricked at the sound of the word 'gay' and 'Kagura'. "Who is this person!? And I don't have a gay stalker, damn you!"

"W-What!?" Tohru was equally as surprised. "I n-never agreed to that, Shigure!"

Silence crept into the room as the last paragraph of the email loaded. The only sounds were their heavy breathing and Kyo's occasional muttering. As stated last chapter, Yuki is the reader-out-louder for the day.

_"Beloved Reader-san,  
Glad you enjoyed reading this randomness.  
Making the Sohma's (and Tohru) act however you feel is the greatest fun.  
Oh, right. My name is Dukoro-chan…  
And I know about the Sohma's and their curse just like you do.  
Haven't you ever watched Fruits Basket?  
I mean, you must have… you know them too, don't you?  
If only they existed… Kyo would SO be on the top of my to-do list.  
Then, once he was done, he'd be back there again.  
Who's your favourite character?  
- Dukoro-chan." _

"Her 'to-do' list? What the hell is this, some kind of child pornography ring?!" No one thought a person could make their jaw drop to the ground as low as Kyo's did at this particular moment. He was not impressed.

"Kyo… right now, I do believe there are better things to be worrying about. Your sex life isn't as important as _this_ comment…" Yuki ran his finger along the sentence and read it out again. "If only they existed. What's that supposed to mean?"

"And this bit here," Tohru added. "Haven't you ever watched Fruits Basket? Oh!" She paused, remembering something vital. "This section of FanFiction is called 'Fruits Basket', isn't it? Is it maybe, that... that, uh…" she stopped. What else could she say?

Whether they liked to admit it or not (I don't think Tohru would mind), each one of those four were scared stiffless. This whole thing about 'not existing' only fueled their fears. One question passed each of their minds, but it only passed one set of lips.

"We're alive, aren't we?"

.xxx.

"What now?"

Still succumbing to the fact they had just been told not only was their life a lie, but their complete existence was a sham. There were skeptics among them; despite popular belief, there are some real weirdo's on the internet and even though it'd be 'wonderful' to believe this… this _person_, it was probably best not to dwell on her thoughts.

"I d-don't like the fact that these people have the 'power'…"

"They don't have any power, Tohru."

"Miss Honda, don't you find it a little, let's say, _irrational,_ to think that this person… these people… have control over us? We live of our own accord, don't we?"

"According to this strange kid, we don't live at all."

The computer began to buzz eerily in the room, it's luminous glow filling the almost dark room; the sun was just setting and night was closing in on them once again. Taking the silent opportunity to grab the teen's attention, Shigure opened a second window above the email reply he received from the author.

"Another chapter," he said softly. "Should we read it?"

"It's too sc-scary! We can't! What if it's going to tell us we're going to die? Or that someone we love will die instead? Or some horrible massacre, or some terrible, horrible, scary thing will-"

"Alright, Tohru, geez… we get the picture, already." The Cat crossed his arms over his chest and sighed with annoyance. "Just open the damn chapter."

Shigure clicked on the box and they all huddled around, reading at their own pace. After a short time of heavy breathing, gasps and angry mutters, Yuki noticed something.

"It's the past," he took the mouse from Shigure's hand and scrolled back up, reading the first few sentences again. "This stuff has already happened. It happened a few moments ago."

"Does this mean…" Kyo looked up from his highly entertaining fingernail.

"If something bad happens…" Shigure burst out of his perverted thoughts.

"We'll be too late!?" Tohru finished the group sentence, paling slightly. It was all too much for her!

"I don't think so," Yuki continued to scroll with his magical ratty-scrolling powers. "Down at the bottom of this page, none of this has happened yet. And if you get to the middle…" he paused as he rolled the page to the middle. "This is what is happening now."

Suddenly Rin jumped through the window.

"Kazoo! Banjo Kazooeeeeee!" She shouted, handing a paper clip to each housemate before exiting via the back door. Simultaneous blinking then occurred.

"Oh, no." Shigure, being the bearer of bad news, delivered it half price. "It's starting to happen."

"What is? Are we in danger, or something?" Kyo was being unusually serious. I mean, wouldn't _you_ after your generally bitchy cousin jumped through your window and started screaming about a ten year old video game while throwing paper clips around?

"I believe so," the Dog continued. "It's… happening."

"What is? We're not in danger, are we?" Kyo asked again, his patience wearing thin.

"Indeed, we are." Shigure said, solemnly.

"This feels like déjà vu…" Tohru mumbled, rubbing her eye.

"It's best we set up some emergency supplies, make sure anything flammable, sharp or shiny is away from this house and disconnect the phone." Shigure stood, clapping his hands together. "C'mon, chop suey!"

"What's going on?" Yuki began to pick up random cans of flammable liquid and hurled them out the window. "I don't get it."

"We're in danger," Shigure repeated for about the fourth time. "That author is on… a sugar rush."

**A/N: **

**Gasp! Not a sugar rush! This calls for immediate action!**

**Grab your supplies and prepare yourselves for a night of random acts of stupidity, crying and sword fights!**

**All this and more in chapter four!**


	5. Aftermath of a Night No One Can Remember

**A/N:**

**Gasp! It's chapter four!**

**Well, five... but the first chapter is a prologue (of the sort).**

**Behold!! (smile)**

**NOTE: This chapter contains some Yuki cuteness and OOC.**

"S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Shhh-Shhhh-Shhhhh-S-S-S-S-S-Shhhh-Sugar R-R-R-R-R-RUSH!?" Tohru stuttered, taking up half the page with her stutterings.

"It seems like it," Shigure swung around on his chair, watching the room pass by him over and over again. "We'd do best to contact Hatori."

"Why Hatori?" There was a short silence as the Sohma's allowed Tohru the time to gather her thoughts and think for a moment. "Oh! Right! He's rational, isn't he?"

"That, our dear Hatori is." Shigure replied, his trademark grin ever-present across his features. "And so, I shall make my gallant way towards the phone! If I do not make it, Kyo can have my stash, Yuki can have my other stash and Tohru can have the third stash." and with those fighting words, Shigure made his way down the hall and back to the futuuuuure!

"Darling, what did you expect?" Yuki, who finally decided to show his face, shook some sense into the brunette.

"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-What's a stash?" She rambled back at him, her eyes spinning in that comic way that they do.

_'Oh mom, what is happening to us?'_ Tohru rubbed her stomach, realising the only thing sane about this situation was her (and the others, most likely) thoughts. _'I don't understand any of this...'_

Meanwhile, while Shigure was in the future, he managed to find a phone. It was a hard task, considering he tripped over his feet and toppled down the stairs (cue flashback of Shigure bouncing down the stairs, with the tune of "She's Fat, She's Round, She's Your Mom" playing in the background), but he was soon to regain composure and grope his way to the phone.

"Ha'ri!" he shouted into it, "Ha'ri! Please!" but little did Shigure know, he was yet to dial the number. "Why are you speaking in beeps? WHY, I ASK YOU?!" receiving no reply, Shigure 'hung up' and made his way slowly back to the preseeeeent!

"Hey, Tohru," it seemed today was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But that naughty Kyo-kun forgot! "This is all because of that story, isn't it? I personally lay the blame on you!"

Tohru was so hurt by Kyo's comments, that she cried. For about... twenty seconds. In her mind.

"Stupid Cat," Yuki deadpanned like he usually does. "You can't blame Tohru for being curious. Did I blame you for being curious (like the stupid cat you are) when you peeked in on me going to the bathroom?"

"I told you a thousand times, you damned rodent!" Kyo retorted, doing a full-on 360 Matrix Move in the process, "I didn't realise you were in there!"

"Irrelevant!" Yuki shouted, raising his arms above his head in victory that he was yet to earn. "We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces!"

"Now, now, Yuki," Shigure had finally made his gallant trek back to the preseeeeent! when he over-heard the lovers arguing. "This is not a time for quoting Fall Out Boy lyrics! Hatori didn't answer his phone!"

"Gasp!" Gasped Tohru. _'Why can't we stop doing these weird things?'_

"Horror!" Horrored Yuki. _'This truly _is_ going to soil my reputation...'_

"Shock!" Shocked Kyo. _'What the Hell is wrong with us?'_

"Indeed!" Indeed-ed Shigure. _'Indeed! Indeed!'_

.xxx.

The sun gleamed in through the windows, granting the Earth and its people another morning. It shone brightly straight into the face of a certain young boy, whose hair was attempting to shield his eyes from the light, but appeared to be failing miserably, considering the boy was woken up by the sun in his eyes.

"Ugh..." Yuki rolled over, brushing his locks away from his eyes. What color is his hair, anyway? Can someone honestly tell me? "Wh-What happened here...?"

As the Rat sat up, he drank in his surroundings. Slowly but surely, he was greeted with a hilarious yet horrible sight. A pair of... _pink panties_ were hanging from the door handle and Tohru was collapsed on a heat under them.

_'T-Tohru?!' _Yuki's mind raced, but he quickly noted that Tohru was fully dressed and seemingly unharmed. He sighed deeply. _'Thank God.'_

Kyo was curled up in a ball on the floor, a book over his head. His jaw was slightly slack and he was drooling everywhere... _'Stupid Cat...' _not to mention, he wasn't wearing his shirt. It took Yuki yet another moment to realise it was torn up in the corner.

Shigure had passed out in his computer chair, head resting on the keyboard. The computer screen above him was flashing red, complaining about a 'warning', or something like that. _'At least Shigure's dressed... what the Hell happened last night?'_

Yuki's stomach rumbled at the realisation that they hadn't had any dinner last night. He stepped over various books and potted plant that had been smashed, and made his way into the hallway. It appeared that the study was the only room in the house which had been trashed, which wasn't much of a surprise. He didn't recall even attempting to leave there. Coincidentally, he didn't remember much of the previous night.

_'Food...'_ The Rat stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, despite his previous request for a feeding. _'What the...?'_

"Ahhhh!" Yuki's shrill screech shook the walls of the house, scaring birds outside and frightening the life out of one Miss Tohru Honda. She flung herself up, hitting her head roughly against the door knob above her. She groaned inwardly and swung the door open, lurching forward and causing her hair the cascade across her shoulders and chest. Her legs were shaky as she attempted to move, but she ended up leaning dangerously on the door frame, head hung low.

_'Uh-oh, I must have woken someone... how am I meant to go out and see who it is looking like _this?_ If it's Kyo, he'll have a fit! Shigure too!' _Taking his chances, Yuki made his way out of the bathroom, only to see a zombie-fied Tohru about to slump over and die.

"Miss Honda!" Yuki ran to her, grasping her thin arms in his hands and yanking her up, so she was standing straight. Still slightly shaking, Tohru looked up and cringed in horror at what she saw.

"Y-Yuki... what happened to you...?" She questioned slowly, her voice raspy from lack of saliva. "What happened... to me?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know what's going on!" Yuki began to frenzy, clutching his head in his hands and began jogging on the spot. The Rat had always found it easier to think while he was active. "Listen to me; wake Shigure and Kyo. Try not to startle them... they're probably as incoherent as ever... and considering their current state, I doubt they'll be impressed..."

Tohru scanned her mind for any memories she may have of the subject of the previous evening. It was like her, and Yuki's, minds had been wiped... their memories erased...

"Hatori!" she burst out, gripping Yuki's shoulders and bringing his face close to hers. "He must have been here!"

"What brings you to that conclusion...?" Yuki blinked as she let go of him and backed up. "Oh, you mean... because we've forgotten things?"

"That's right!" Tohru hit the palm of her hand with a bundled fist. "Unless we were all... very drunk... I've heard from Uo that has the same affect on you!" Her innocent smile after this sentence made Yuki blush... the same color as his hair.

"Miss Honda... I'm going to try to wash this out of my hair... make sure Shigure and Kyo are okay... okay?" and with that, he disappeared back into the bathroom, ignoring his stomach's desperate plea for a filling of cheese.

.xxx.

"K-Kyo...? Shigure...? Are you guys okay...?"

Tohru slowly pushed the door open and almost passed out from an unusual smell that filled the room. The brunette walked towards Kyo and knelt down in front of him, but of course, not without an,

"Ew..."

As she stepped in his drool-puddle, which by this time had grown quite large. The Cat-Cursed was now flat on his back, tongue lolling out of his mouth slightly, orange hair stuck perversely on angles Tohru had never seen before.

_'He must have gotten into the hair gel last night,'_ Tohru concluded, touching his hair only to discover it was rock solid. _'Hope it wasn't glue!'_

She began to rub his shoulder, saying his name over and over again, but received no response. Tohru began to shake and yell his name, still with no results. After a moment of thought, she ran into the bathroom and collected some water in a small cup. _'This should get him up!'_

And that it did.

**A/N:**

**Cliff-hanger of the sort?!**

**Gasp!!**

**GASP!!**

**... Okay. Enough gasping!!**


End file.
